Remembering your past doesn't have to be a painful experience. You can go there just deep enough to remember whatever it was that hurt you or made you happy, without uncovering the bad bits. But, you must do it carefully.
In a recent Twitter post, someone asked me what would happen if they went too far. My immediate response was to protect my fellow actor, and to an extent, myself. I didn't want to give the advice a professional therapist would give because in acting we are continually asked to recollect things in life that can bring truth and honesty to a character. So how do we then recollect and draw from bad memories without them stirring things up in a way that'll have us in looney bin?
This is the careful balance of sense memory and reality. The pain that was in the past, is a pain we probably keep at that distance for all the right reasons. We should be self-confident that we have complete control over that particular memory, before we attempt to go there.
As actors, sense memory is all about taste, smell, tears, joy, fears & sounds. They trigger emotions in us that are valuable in the context of living and acting. Using a past event requires that we are firmly rooted and secure in our current physical, mental and spiritual selves. We must define our boundaries and understand that what we borrow from our past for the purposes of telling a story with sincerity, is clearly marked with the "I CAN go there" emotional marker.
If something terrible happened to you, and your role requires that you draw from that event, please be careful and be sure to seek professional advice if you feel it may unravel something hurtful or disturbing. Acting is a beautiful and often revealing craft. It allows for us to pretend, act out, dramatize those people and characters that we love, hate and are intrigued by. But, it should be a fulfilling act for both the audience and you. If through acting you can resolve issues in your own life, approach them with reverence and understand that going there may have it's consequences.
Let's face it, when a scene calls for anger and we can pull it off with conviction, we must be drawing from something deep, and we can understand it's limits and shape it's boundaries to coincide with our character's motivations, needs and actions. Being a good Actor requires that we clearly define reality, the past, the present, mix them and use them like a chef. Adding just the right amount of sweetness, saltiness, emotional honesty, and a healthy pinch of control.
If you ever broach a difficult subject or character that was steeped in tragedy, abuse, pain or a combination of those, and feel it may be going too deep, please discuss it with a professional who can help you through that role. If it's too much to handle, you may consider finding another character to play, or talking to the Director about that scene and working it through with them. It's up to you to judge how deep the emotional pool is.
And remember, acting is supposed to bring you joy, and elevate you to a place of emotional richness and fulfillment as you explore someone else through your own life experiences – as Actors I hope each and every one of us can experience that gift and that joy in our work on stage and in film.
Paul Brighton
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I have just found this post but I really appreciate it. I often find myself asking these same questions- of how far can one go with actual, painful, personal memories in respect to a scene or a song without either breaking down or taking steps back in the recovery from those old emotions. I really like what you said about "emotional markers" and allowing yourself to "go there" but with the right amount of self control so as not to get lost in it.
ReplyDeleteThank you for this post. :)